We talk about the past not existing.
When you’ve done something that’s less than desirable, please remember that the past does not exist. The only direction you can really move is forward. But instead, what we do is take ourselves back! We commiserate, recreate and relive the experience along with all the guilt and unhappiness over and over again. We punish ourselves on behalf of anyone who might judge us for our error. I sometimes wonder if someone threatened to push us off a cliff if we wouldn’t throw ourselves into the abyss to save them the trouble.
Here is the law (how things really work).
No one ever intentionally does anything stupid. They always choose what, at any given point of time, is the best or only choice they think they have. Oftentimes people are faced with the choice of the “lesser of evils”, seeing no choice that’s really favorable. If, after the fact it’s concluded that whatever action was taken was not really wise and if given the chance for a “do over” it would not be repeated then here is the formula straight from the book The Guardian Code, It’s Not Your Fault.
1. Apologize for any offense.
2. Repair or fix it as best you can.
3. Resolve never to let that happen again.
4. Allow yourself to forgive you. Understand that if the outcome was not and would not be your intention again, then, as the subtitle to the book states, It’s Not Your Fault. But it is your responsibility.
Once the steps have been taken to resolve the situation Do Not keep reliving it in your mind. To do so has the same physiological, psychological and emotional impact, as the first experience, every time you relive it in your mind.
Important Guardian Code action to take:
Take a piece of paper and a pen and write down a goal that you have for the good outcome that you desire for the situation. Then daydream that outcome with all of its happy and positive feelings at least twice every day. The more determined you are in this action the more quickly and obviously the “teachers”, as discussed in The Guardian Code, will appear and show you the path to your perfect results.
Until next time may you have the peaceful and charmed life that you deserve.