Let's do a little survey and see what happens in various scenarios. What we're going to do is take the confrontation with a problem or failure and see how the victim responds. Then we'll compare that with how the confident person handles the same situation.
I think that you will discover how most of the problems in interrelationships stem from how you and/or the other parties involved are functioning in either confidence or as victims. A problem occurs or a failure is experienced. Let’s look at how the victim compares with the confident person.
The “done on-to” victim reacts to the news or the situation, lamenting, worrying and actually almost morning that it occurred. Often asks the question “why me”.
Next it seems important to determine who’s at fault and very important to make sure that “it’s not my fault”. At some point in time there is the discussion of what should have, could have been done along with wishes for what the past could have been.
The confident doer:
The confident doer immediately moves to attack the solution and resolve the problem as soon as possible to “move on”. Does not ask “why me” or waste time and energy determining fault. Confidence says, “this is the situation let’s get it handled”.
Victims have trouble making decisions from the fear of possibly being “wrong”. They also find excuses instead of solutions.
Confidence decides, believing that even if the decision isn’t quite right corrections can be made for the problem’s solution. Confidence seeks solutions with no excuses. The real issue in decisiveness and confidence is the question of knowing what to do about a situation. Victims aren’t sure so they hide behind excuses and doubt. Confident people often don’t have any idea what the solution is but they know that if they focus on the outcome that they desire they will be able to discover whatever it takes to solve the problem.
So here is the message for the victims.
Confident people, whether they realize it or not, have learned to apply “The Guardian Code” in their lives and so they always know exactly “what to do” when the world around them is wavering in uncertainty. To make that transition from victim to a confident doer simply learn and intentionally apply The Guardian Code to the decisively confident, charmed life that every one of us deserves to live.
Until next time, may you have the peaceful and charmed life that you deserve.